60+ Funny Old Age Quotes

Getting older is just a part of life, right? But hey, who said it can’t be funny? We’ve all heard the jokes about aging gracefully (or not), and there’s something about humor that helps us embrace the inevitable.

So, let’s take a lighthearted journey through some hilarious quotes about growing old that’ll have you chuckling in no time!

  • “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
  • “Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” – Edward Stanley
  • “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns
  • “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
  • “The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day
  • “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
  • “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins
  • “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren
  • “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” – George Burns
Funny Old Age Quotes
Funny Old Age Quotes
  • “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
  • “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope
  • “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzoni
  • “Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.'” Cher

Witty Quotes About Age

  • Age is like fine wine, it gets better with time, unless you’re a banana.
  • Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
  • Age is just a number, but maturity is a choice – usually.
  • You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  • Age wrinkles the body, but quitting wrinkles the soul.
  • I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value.
  • Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • Youth is wasted on the young, but wisdom is lost on the old.
  • Life’s too short to worry about your age, unless you’re a cheese.
  • Age doesn’t determine how young you feel, your playlist does.
  • As you get older, three things happen: the first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
  • Age is not important unless you’re a cheese or a wine.
  • I don’t have an age, I’m just a vintage model.
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  • You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Humorous Sayings About Aging

  • Getting old is like finding surprise gifts in your body every day.
  • Age is when your back goes out more than you do.
  • Growing old is like being a fine cheese, but sometimes you feel more like a squished grape.
  • I’m not old, I’m just young at heart and slightly wrinkled in the body.
  • Age is when you start pulling a muscle while brushing your teeth.
  • They say laughter is the best medicine, but as you age, so is a good pair of reading glasses.
  • At my age, I’ve become a professional at finding things I didn’t know I’d lost.
  • You know you’re getting older when your idea of a wild night is staying up past 9 PM.
  • Aging is realizing that ‘all-nighter’ now refers to a sleepless night, not a party.
  • I used to bend and snap, now I groan and creak.
  • Age is just a number, but it’s also a reminder that your warranty has expired.
  • I’m not old, I’m just becoming a classic, like fine wine or a good joke.
  • Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional. I choose to stay forever young, just with a few more wrinkles.
  • Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
  • Aging is like a roller coaster ride, some days you’re up, some days you’re down, and most days you’re just hanging on for dear life!

Funny Quotes About Ageing

  • “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get backup” John Wagner
  • “The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” Will Rogers
  • “The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” Unknown
  • “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” Golda Meir
  • “I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.” Robert Brault
  • “I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” Phyllis Diller
  • “I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.” Bill Dane
  • “When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.” George Burns
  • “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” Leo Rosenberg
  • “Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.” George Burns
  • “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” Golda Meir
  • “I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed.” Unknown
  • “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins
  • “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” Sir Norman Wisdom
  • “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” Tom Wilson
  • “I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.” – Anonymous
  • “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom
  • “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzon
  • “You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.” – John Mendoza
  • “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
  • “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
  • “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. Then, you only have to remember it.” – George Burns
  • “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
  • “I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin
  • “I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?” – Barry Cryer

Conclusion

So, there you have it – a collection of funny quotes to remind us that getting older doesn’t have to be a drag. Embrace the laughter, cherish the memories, and remember, you’re never too old to crack a smile!

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